Damage Control: Avoiding Distance From God in Hard SeasonsChikamu

Check Your Heart

Have you ever paused to consider how incredible it is that, no matter how old we get, there will always be new things to discover about ourselves? This means that in every moment, even right now, there are parts of our hearts that remain unknown to us. But God knows them. In fact, He knows us better than we know ourselves.

In His infinite knowledge of us, God does not condemn us or ridicule our constant struggle to know ourselves. Instead, He responds with love and provides countless opportunities for us to learn more about ourselves through the work of the Holy Spirit and His Word. God knows that it is impossible for us to truly know ourselves without His help. We need him to examine our hearts and illuminate our shortcomings and blindspots. Otherwise, areas in our hearts remain hidden and unchecked, causing pain and conflict in our lives and in our relationships.

Initially, when we recognized that our friendship was struggling, we assumed the issues were superficial: miscommunication, difficulty in navigating conflict, and being in different life stages. Because we were unaware of our own blind spots, we spent nearly a year pointing the finger and attempted to address the symptoms rather than the root cause. By failing to examine our own hearts, we missed the opportunities God gave us to see ourselves and our roles in the strained friendship more clearly.

Eventually, by God's grace, we stopped blaming each other and began to look within. By partnering with the Holy Spirit to check our hearts, we saw how far we had drifted from God in our personal relationships and took accountability in our friendship. God ultimately used our fractured friendship to expose the brokenness within us and lead us back to him. And He wants to do the same for you!

Here are the steps we find helpful when checking your heart:

1. Ask God to search your heart for areas of growth.
2. When the Holy Spirit reveals, thank Him and pray for a repentant heart.
3. Seek the Holy Spirit for guidance, support, and direction toward the right resources. (This may involve therapy, seeking a healthy community, mentorship, Scriptures, etc.)
4. Be kind and patient with yourself - heart work is a process.

Reflection: Think of a challenging relationship or situation in your life right now. How might God be using it to prompt you to check your heart?