Embracing the Empty Nest- Redefining Your PurposeChikamu

Day 1: GRIEF & GROWTH

When our children leave the nest, it can be a time of mixed emotions. It took me quite a few years to adequately grieve my children leaving the proverbial nest and growing into their own.They were my lifeline, and it was very challenging shifting from director to supporter. My identity relied heavily on that role in life.

Prior to my oldest daughter going off to college, we took a one-month sabbatical. I knew, in a few weeks, she would be off finding her place in the world away from me. I was scared for her and myself. The separation anxiety and grief were screaming on the inside of me. This new phase would require intimacy with God to successfully walk through it. The scripture that brought comfort is Lamentations 3:32“But, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love”

As a parent, you want to protect your child from each bump and bruise. For the first semester, I drove up almost every weekend to ensure she was comfortable and secure. Every time she called I found myself on the highway to see what problem I needed to solve. I laugh now because the college she attended was only 45 minutes away.

The Lord ministered to my spirit towards the end of the first semester that I had to release my grip and let her find her way with him as the guide. I cried that day. Somehow I had a temporary memory lapse and didn't remember the very scripture that was the lifeline to know she was going to be perfectly fine. Proverbs 22:6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. In truth, I tried to rescue all of my children once they left home on more than one occasion. God reminded me of this very scripture. Those were the moments when I had to quiet myself, listen intently, and pray for the proper response to support them from afar.

You will need to“pray without ceasing” according to 1 Thessalonians 5:17. Their path to God may be different than yours. Allow them to come into the full purpose of who they were created to be on the earth. How can one be confident? Just read the story of the Prodigal Son in the Book of Luke Chapter 15. This story is a great example of when you train a child, while they may wander off, they will return to what is true.

I had to take heart that the Holy Spirit allowed me to see that each child is not the same. Not every child is destined for college, some will do trade school, some will take the school of hard knocks, and some will let their life lesson be their constant test of knowledge. We confidently know that God wants to protect us from bumps and bruises. However, we know that when he allows us to walk through the life lesson it builds our character as God wants to do the same with our children as well.

As a parent, you must grieve what once was but hold fast to what is on the horizon for their future. The grieving is a part of the process and allow your children to be led by the Holy Spirit. You have to grieve that your children are growing into adulthood. You have to grieve that their classmates, friends, spouses, and co-workers may give them instruction that gives them comfort just like you have. It's true. You no longer can give directives.You must remember that you role changes to be a supporter of their vision, hopes, and dreams. Let them find their way, and in the process, God will redefine who he has called you to be in this new season.

Prayer:

Father God, today as I come boldly before your throne, I thank you for the gift of parenthood. As my child is walking into the fullness of who you have created them to be bring comfort, hope and peace to my mind and my heart. As I give them back to you, I know that they are safe in the Master's arms. May I grieve with full faith that they are secure, favored and blessed by the Lord.