Always Wanting MoreChikamu

Not Enough Respect

In his book Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs writes:

“I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counselled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem heard from wives was, ‘he doesn't love me.’ Wives are made to love, want to love, expect to love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying scripture and counselling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, ‘she doesn't respect me.’ Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages end in divorce court.”

Men want respect. We want to know that we are making a difference. We want to know that all our hard work meant something and that we earned something for it.

Consequently, we can feel very discontent when there is a lack of respect.

Maybe it’s in a nickname you’ve been given at work that leaves you wanting. Maybe it’s the lack of acknowledgement for all you have done for the company. Maybe it’s the attitude you’re getting from your teenagers. Any of these can steal away your contentment.

Jesus had an antidote to this need for respect.

One day, He noticed how people chose seats at a dinner. People chose the best seats or the most important seats.

His advice was to “Take the lowest place” (Luke 14:10).

This is good advice. Elsewhere, He said, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5).

Jesus, who was, and is, worthy of all the honour and respect that can possibly be given, took on the lowliest position; He made Himself nothing.

As we follow His example, we are freed up from the desperate need for respect; we can become content no matter the situation.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, I know I can forget how much You love and cherish me. Because of that, I can quickly seek my validation from other sources. I can demand too much of my wife, or my children, or my workplace, or my team. Thank You that in Your eyes, I am a son of God, a child of the King. Help me live in that reality to free others up from having to feed my ego. Help me choose the lowest places and find contentment there, knowing that is where You would be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Reflection: When was the last time you felt disrespected? Where are you most likely to feel disrespected? Where can you choose the lowest place today?