A Different Kind of Mother: Encouragement for StepmomsChikamu

There Are No Accidental Children or Accidental Mothers. Every Assignment of Motherhood is Divine

“How many children do you have?” For most mothers, this is an easy question, but it is a harder one for stepmoms. God tells us children are a blessing. This is His heralding cry, irrespective of the circumstances of their conception or parental heritage. There are unintended pregnancies, but there are never accidental children. And thus, it isn’t a far-fetched conclusion that there aren’t accidental mothering positionings by God.

Sometimes I am filled with disquietude when I recognize I am not the woman whose eyes or hair or skin color is reflected in the face of the boy who is in our family portraits and Christmas cards. The insecurity sets in, there is no title of “mom”, and stepmoms may not always be a wanted addition in the life of a stepchild. But what does our Heavenly Father see from His vantage point?

One night in prayer, I was challenged to see that first and foremost, children are made in the image of God; they are made in the image of the genetics of their Earthly parents secondarily. I need to see my stepson as a reflection of my Heavenly Father long before I see him as a reflection of his Earthly mother. And when I have this perspective, I can see who God sees when He looks at me, a woman divinely appointed to a task of guardianship—an appointment that is at once wonderful and stretching.

Moreover, I can see my stepson as part of my heritage from the Lord and what woman lacks confidence when presented with a reward? Suddenly gone is my insecurity, because boy do I love my reward – I love his wittiness, his keenly introspective nature, his deferential heart, his ability to make me laugh, and of course, our shared affinity for novelty candy.

Application: In what ways can you see your stepchildren as part of your heritage and reward from the Lord? Make it a point to affirm each of your children as part of you today. Show each child how privileged you feel to be his or her mom in any way today.