The VowChikamu

The Vow of Partnership

Married 17 years, Michael and Shelley work together, play together, eat together, love together, and parent three daughters together. They see marriage as a partnership of “one flesh.” But it wasn’t always that way.

Shelley:

Early in our marriage, I dreaded football season. Michael would want to enjoy a day of football while I saw Saturday as “honey do” day. After several football seasons of frustration, I decided to pray. I just wanted my husband to do the things I wanted to do (selfish, I know). God helped me with a thought like this, “Can you love what he loves?” Saturday football became “our” thing. Guess what happened next? Michael began pausing the game to help me with my projects. God helped me realize I hadn’t been treating my husband like a partner. In fact, I didn’t even understand what partnership was. Today, our marriage is stronger than ever. We’re one flesh—three strands that can’t easily be broken. And that’s largely because we’ve learned to love each other by loving each other’s passions.

Michael: 

Shelley and I have been partners for a while, so it’s easy to take her for granted. Sometimes I feel like I’m the one doing all the work while she just coasts on my momentum. (I know, I know.) And when I do, I bet she feels the same way about me. Recently, Shelley went out of town for an entire week, and any notions that I was creating the momentum left with her. Just trying to style hair, pack lunches, make coffee, and get the kids on the bus—things we do together every day—were overwhelming. It’s been 17 years, and I’m still learning we have unique strengths in this partnership. Her strengths complement my weaknesses, and mine hers. We fit. The two of us are becoming “one flesh.” It’s not that she completes me. Only God does that. But, with Him we’re two complete individuals being forged in the fires of our passions and adversity into something totally new. And, believe me, we’re so much better together.

Pray: God, help me see marriage as a partnership of passions, a two becoming one. Help me to not look to my own desires or to a spouse for my fulfillment, but to You. Help me to come to marriage whole, ready for partnership.