Preparing for Marriage BiblicallyChikamu

THE LAW OF ROLES AND ASSIGNMENTS IN MARRIAGE (1)

In marriage, God gave headship and leadership to the husband and “helpership” to the wife. Problems often arise in the home when a man does not know how to lead his wife or refuses to lead her. God gave the man the assignment of leading the home and meeting the needs of his wife and gave the wife the responsibility of adapting to her husband and following his lead. Women often make a mistake here by trying to change their husbands, thereby violating the Law of Roles and Assignments.

Women should understand that only God can change a man. What you can do as a wife is fulfill your role and leave God to change your man. However, a woman most times immediately takes on the assignment of changing a man after marrying him. If it’s a man who takes up the responsibility of changing the woman, the only thing he can do is change her to become himself and God doesn’t want two men together in marriage. As a man, you must allow your wife to be a woman. A woman must allow her husband to be a man. We need to understand the differences from our partners and how to leverage those differences for a successful home.

If I could have my way, I would want my wife to be like me, and if she had her way, she would want me to be like her. You will discover that this mutual desire, at least at the beginning of marriage, is true of couples everywhere. Some husbands have succeeded in turning their wives into men, and they complain when they need the unique traits that a woman brings but don’t get them. Similarly and sadly, some women have succeeded in turning their husbands into women.

When a woman raises a boy on her own, you will observe that the boy will act and relate to the world like a woman. The woman is given the assignment of creating an atmosphere of acceptance of love, but the role of reaffirming the identity of individuals in the home is for the man.

PRAYER: Dear Lord, help me to properly respect and enforce the different roles and assignments You’ve given to me and my spouse. Amen!