Culture Maker — the Devotional for Dad'sChikamu

Culture is Made in The Middle

Research shows that fathers are good at bringing the fun. Globally it's something most dads do well. We'll horse around, fool around, and do silly things — all to entertain our kids.

The other thing we do well, is bring the high standards, and that's important because they're a very healthy part of parenting. But we often think that good family culture is made when we're playing the fool and bringing the rules — when Christ demonstrated that culture is actually made in the middle.

Think about it. Jesus' whole life was full of disagreement with His children. They disappointed Him, failed Him, and questioned Him, constantly — yet He wasn't harsh, or angry, or controlling. His life was full of compassion and grace.

Jesus' reactions defined a family culture that changed the world.

Jesus still had His high standards — He just didn't make His children feel judged.

And this is important — because we have a decreasing amount of influence over those who feel increasingly judged by us.

This is a real challenge for parents. Whilst the most obedient child might try and obey us — if they're feeling judged by us — they will be withdrawing from us.

We must hold our high standards, because they're important — but we also have to learn to create environments that don't feel judgemental.

We all do it of course — we say or do things that make our children feel worthless, and so, ninety-eight percent of being a good dad is saying sorry, and working out what to do better next time.

Us dads are good at playing the fool and bringing the rules — but unless our children are seen, heard and understood, by us — then we're just fools with rules.

What can you do today, to make your children feel more seen, heard, and understood — by you?