God Is More Intimate Than Your Fantasy.

• Trust that God’s way is better.
• Repent and cry out to God for rescue.
• Turn your heart toward Him with love and affection.
• Cling to Him when your thoughts try to steer you back toward enslavement.

We have to believe that God’s way is best and God created sex for marriage. Stimulating your sexual drive by outside sources (other than unselfish intimacy with your spouse) is improper and fuels a lust that cannot be quenched. Setting expectations of how often you must have some form of sexual release is living for self-gratification, which only sets your heart on a continuous pursuit to satisfy a nature that will always want more. What changes will you make as a result of these truths? Will these changes include considering others more important than yourself? Will they include taking on an eternal perspective? Pause and write out your commitments.

As women, sometimes we struggle with lust because we have such a deep desire to be loved and appreciated. Some people reading this may not be in a relationship currently, and waiting is so difficult. Others may be in a marriage that feels loveless, and they feel like they have a right to give themselves pleasure since they are not finding it from their husband. The truth is, we are called to find the deepest part of our hearts touched by the love of Christ. I have had many girls tell me, “I know God loves me, and that’s great, but I want ‘someone’ to love me. I am glad God loves me and is there for me in the spiritual world, but I want someone physical. I want real arms wrapped around me. God cannot hug me.” During the time of waiting, it becomes tempting to take matters into our own hands and fulfill these desires through sexual sins such as pornography and fantasies.

It is true that God cannot give us a hug—but neither can pornography, a romance novel, a fantasy, or your own hands. Let me share with you my favorite definition of lust: “Desire becomes so easily twisted. 'I like it' becomes 'I want it.' 'I want it' becomes 'I need it.' 'I need it' becomes ‘God, you owe it to me,’ which becomes ‘never mind, I will just take it.’" Satan would love nothing more than to make you distrust God and His design so that he can lead you to destruction. That is exactly what Satan did with Eve in the garden. “Did God really say...You won’t die? God knows that when you eat it you will be like Him, knowing good and evil.” Satan made Eve think God was holding out on her, and then he pointed her eyes to the very thing he knew would destroy her. But in that moment, he made her think it was the most desirous thing. How true is that in the struggle with lust? God gives us an amazing relationship with Him and the gift of sex and intimacy within marriage. Yet if we are asked to wait, Satan is close by and ready to suggest:

• God is holding out on you (even though He is protecting you).
• His love is not tangible (although it is more real than anything else you have experienced).
• Then he points your eyes toward the very thing he knows will destroy you—pornography, romance novels, masturbation, fantasies, one-night stands, and unhealthy relationships.

To choose one of those things in the moment is to slap God in the face. It is as if to say, “Because You have not delivered, I am deciding that this momentary pleasure is more rewarding than Your love for me which You expressed by giving Your all and laying Your life down for me on the cross.”

I know my words are extreme and paint a harsh picture, but they are true. Our sin destroys us while spitting in Jesus’ face. That is why Satan loves sin so much and is relentless in His pursuit of us. He absolutely hates God and he hates us. Why not kill two birds with one stone? He watches with bliss while our choices throw us into the pit and turn us away from the One who loves us and can rescue us. Then, while we are down, Satan accuses and showers shame on us, telling us we cannot turn to God in that moment because we are unworthy.

It is important for us to be aware of Satan’s tactics and to also have an accurate view of God. One of Satan’s tactics is to accuse. Many times, as we start toward sin, we begin to feel unworthy and distant from God and think we cannot go to Him for help. In times like this, we turn away from God and strive. We strive to overcome the sin and clean ourselves up so that we can return to God and to our relationship with Him. But the moment we turn away from God—game over—we just guaranteed failure. As we turn from God we are turning from the power that we receive from God to say “no” to sin and to be cleansed. We cannot clean ourselves up for God. We have to run to God who is the living water and He will cleanse us. We cannot save our own lives.

Heartwork

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep” (John 10:10–11, ESV).

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen” (1 Peter 5:6–11, ESV).

“You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44, ESV).

Do we realize that we are in a war? Satan does not go easy on us because we are women. He is out to destroy. God is here to rescue! Will you go to God today and ask for His help?

Pray

Spend at least five minutes talking to God right now.

• Ask the Lord to cause you to see and hate the ugliness of pornography, lust, sexual fantasies, and masturbation.
• Tell Jesus the things you’re afraid of.
• Confess your selfishness (wanting to be first), self-sufficiency (wanting to be in control), self-gratification (wanting to be served), greed (wanting more), and pride (wanting it on your terms).
• Ask the Lord to be the Master and to make you a willing servant. (Include all of these things in your prayers every day this week.)
• Be sure to pray for other Proven Women that they, too, will hate sin. Write down their names as you pray. Be specific in your requests to God.

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This content is taken from our Proven Women Workbook Study which has seen over 1,000+ women set free and has been adapted for this application.