Tips On MotherhoodChikamu

BIRDS AND THE BEES

Many moms ask me when is the “right” time to talk to children about sex. Like everything else in parenting, there is no magic formula. I have four children, and I told them all at different times and in different ways. You, as a mom, have to adjust your talk according to your child’s personality and temperament. Here are some overarching thoughts on the matter:

The sex talk cannot be just one talk anymore . . . it’s a continual conversation.

• Start when they are very young, setting the foundation at 2–5 years old by teaching them not to allow anyone to touch their private parts.
• Continue to have conversations on this theme through high school.
• Create a safe environment for your children to open up to you.
• Tell them that you are on their side. Be honest with them and encourage them to ask you questions instead of asking their friends, because you are experienced and you will tell them the truth.
• Don’t just say, “don’t have sex,” explain the why behind the no.
• For boys, talk about pornography and why it is harmful to their hearts and minds.
• For girls, explain to them that you understand the need to feel wanted and loved and you want that for them as well. Tell them that you want them to experience true love the way God designed it to be.

Talking about sex is awkward, but in our culture, peers, movies, and the media are leading too many children astray at every age. We as moms need to push aside our fear of awkwardness and instill wisdom into our children.

One last thing: keep in mind that your children may stumble and fall in this area. If or when that happens, you should be the first in line to show them unconditional love and compassion.