Real Hope: Learning to ListenChikamu

The Lost Art of Listening

Listening is so basic that we take it for granted. Others appear to be listening to you, but their minds may be miles away. This problem is everywhere. Social networking is all about talking and telling and not about listening. But listening well bridges the gap between me and you. The good listener appreciates us as we are and accepts our feelings as valid, even though they may have different opinions.

God has created us to be relational people. We have an inner need to be linked with friends, family, and others in the community. But these relationships have to be worked at through being a good listener – to listen with love and care. By listening, we put aside our own agenda, take a break from what we’re doing, and give our full attention to the other one. It shows you really do care – that it’s worth your time – and, in turn, strengthens the relationship. It says I have respect for you because I might learn something new for myself, to help my life. Therefore, out of respect for you, I will listen carefully.

Curb the desire to interrupt or respond. Wait before offering any comment. Don’t finish their sentence. Be patient and try your hardest to understand. And at the end, give feedback: What did you mean by that? I understand you to say… One of the biggest mistakes we make is trying to outdo their story, like, Oh, that reminds me of something that happened to me last week… Keep your priority on what the speaker wants to communicate to you.

God has given us two ears and only one tongue. Maybe that’s a hint from God that we should listen more than talk. I’m sure God can give us His Holy Spirit to help us listen carefully. It’s a virtue that may be a big help to someone who’s struggling.

Written by CHRIS WITTS