Moving Forward in ForgivenessChikamu

Put Your Hope In God

Let’s face it; our spouse will disappoint us. Usually when it is time to express forgiveness, we have experienced disappointment from an unmet expectation. If we hold our spouse to an unfair or unrealistic standard, then we set ourselves up for disappointment.

We have to realize that our spouse can’t meet our every need because they are not God. It isn’t fair to expect them to. Early on in our marriage, finances were a challenge. We were fresh out of college and trying to do the best we could. My husband took on the burden to try to meet my every need because he understood that God called him to be a provider. It wasn’t until I told him that I didn’t expect him to meet my every need and we are a team that he was freed up from this burden. He was living under an unfair expectation based on a standard he thought I had for him, and it was weighing him down.

I have found it helpful to communicate my expectations to my husband, but put my hope in God. I told him I know he is a provider, but God is our source. When I communicated that with him, it removed the pressure from him and allowed God to be God in our life.

If we’re hoping for our spouse to become exactly who or what we think we need them to be, or to give us validation and fulfillment, marriage will be disappointing and exhausting. Only God can sustain our hope. Isaiah 40:31 says that “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” If we put our hope in the Lord, we find strength to fight for our marriages. If our hope is in Him, we follow His ways for our marriage because it is the best and obedient way of marriage, rather than because we hope our spouse responds in kind. In challenging times, we can put our hope in the Lord. We understand that “He is our help and shield.” Most importantly, we can trust in His holy name. (Psalm 33:21-22)

Challenge: Ask God what unrealistic expectations you have given your spouse. What needs are you going to your spouse for that only God can meet?

APPLICATION QUESTIONS

1. Where is your hope? Is it in your money, job, God, etc.?
2. Do you trust God with every area of your life? If not, why not?
3. Identify any false expectations you have put on your spouse or your spouse has for themselves.
4. Ask God to reveal your heart to you.
5. Do you trust God with every area of your life? If not, why not?

This plan was written by Tiff Moore for Awesome Marriage.

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