Beloved: A Study in Song of SolomonChikamu

What does it say?

Solomon’s wife dreamed he would come to her but left because she did not unlock the door to her bed chamber. She then praised her husband to the daughters of Jerusalem.

What does it mean?

Some time had passed between the wedding and the events of Chapter 5. The dream in verses 2-8 reflects the apathy that had crept into the wife’s affections. She was going to sleep when Solomon came, desiring intimacy, but he was gone by the time she changed her mind about letting him into her room. In answering her friends’ questions, she reminded herself of how attractive she found her husband to be. She fittingly summed up her description by calling him her lover and friend.

How should I respond?

Most marriages don’t live in a perpetual honeymoon phase. Personality differences or annoying habits can cause a cooling off of physical attraction over time. Is your marriage in a period of indifference or maybe even hostility? What you feel towards your spouse will likely be determined by what you choose to focus on. Try this exercise: write down one positive thing about your spouse every day for a week. During the day, look for the chance to praise that quality. Thank them for how they use that character trait in your everyday life, even if it’s only occasionally. Focusing on what led you to fall in love can help renew your appreciation and affection for each other.