Breakup With HeartbreakChikamu

Change Your Playlist

Listen, I love a good Taylor Swift sad song just like the rest of our broken hearts club, but sad songs are only going to do one thing: make us feel sad. It's healthy to feel sad and let the emotions come for a time, but after we've properly grieved, it's time to switch the track, change the playlist and make a new mixtape to get us pumped on life again!

When I was 25, I had my first major heartbreak a few years ago. I was totally in love, and when things didn't work out, it felt like my entire world came crashing down. One day, a friend came over while I was all up in my feels, watching titanic, crying into pillows and whatnot. She sat down next to me and said, "Esther, it's time to get happy again." What?! I didn't want to get happy. I wanted to be sad, but my time of grieving was consuming my life. Memories of the relationship played like a broken record in my head: all of the good times I missed, the things I wished I'd said, and the what-ifs. It all played on repeat day after day. I couldn't see my future. I couldn't dream for myself. I felt abandoned, lost, and alone, but my friend picked me up from my tear puddles and told me she was going to Australia and wanted me to come with her. I didn't want to go, but I knew she was right. I needed to change the sad soundtrack of my life and switch it to a station that made me come alive again. A surf trip to Australia sounded like a song I wanted to play, so I said yes, bought a ticket, and boarded the plane the following week.

I spent three weeks traveling around Australia and New Zealand, surfing my brains out and making friends with people from all around the world. I attended a conference for Christian Surfers that created a safe environment for my broken heart to heal. At that conference, God began to speak to me about my future. Every time I went surfing, He began to assure me I wasn't forgotten. He gave me a vision of what He'd placed inside me, and a new dream began to form. Every day I'd come back to my dorm room to hang out with my roommates from the conference, and we'd have dance parties until 2 am, giggle about our conference crushes and retell the stories of epic waves from earlier in the day. While I still had more healing to do, the broken record was long gone, and the new song over my life was one of joy and hopeful expectation-- the kind that makes you want to break out into a dance party!

That's the kind of mixtape Jesus wants to give you. I love the permission we're given in Ecclesiastes 3:1, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." In this verse, I hear Jesus saying, "There's no rush. I'm not in a hurry. Your healing is happening. Don't run from the pain. Don't try to expedite the process. Let my presence bind around your aching heart and heal you in my time. Trust the changing seasons. It will soon change."

I know it's not easy. I know it's not fun, but I also know this isn't forever. Time will go on, your heart will heal, and the season will change.

I believe God is inviting you on an adventure just like He invited me and asking you to change the playlist you've been listening to. He's made you a mixtape of joy, restoration, freedom, and peace, and He wants to wrap His presence around your aching heart so it can begin to heal. Maybe it's time to start a new hobby, go on a trip, ask a friend to come over to be with you, or hike in a new place. Instead of dwelling on the past, make a conscious effort to shift your focus off the things you wish were different and onto the things you know you can change. Be aware of the music you listen to that evokes nostalgic feelings that only cause your heart wound to sting. It's ok to miss someone or wish you could go back to relive a few things, but don't stay there. Make peace with what you had to let go of so you can step into your future with a heart made whole again. And, just for kicks, make a playlist full of songs you imagine your life would look like if it were a mixtape! Then go rock out to that baby and enjoy God's future for you. I know, it's going to be epic!

This plan was adapted from the book 'Single Shouldn't Suck.' If you enjoyed this plan, then you'll love the book! Click here to learn more!

For more from the author, check out Esthermarie.org or read my other plans here