Boundaries: Get Off the Crazy Train.Chikamu

I’ll never forget when my oldest daughter was around 7, and I walked in on her putting all of her stuffed animals in timeout because they were being disrespectful to her. That’s when you know that your discipline is sinking in. “Discipline is an external boundary, designed to develop internal boundaries in our children”, Dr. Henry Cloud.

Being taught boundaries starts when we are tiny humans. They teach us how to be responsible, how to have self-control, how to serve others, how to respect others and so much more.

And then we grow up and marry someone and realize that we need boundaries with our spouse. We can’t depend on our spouse to make us happy. We can’t heal or treat things like addiction or bad habits, and we can’t try to control their issues or healing because then we are invading the boundary between THEM and GOD. Instead, we have to seek Jesus (and professional help), we pray, and we release control.

And then we get a job and realize that we need boundaries at work – yeah, that’s a hard one. We have to learn how to set healthy expectations for ourselves on what we can control, achieve, and what we can own and be accountable for in our work - and then release control of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else. That literally is a command. God says in Galatians 6:5: “for each one shall bear his own load”. And then he goes even further and says, “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if working for the LORD, not for human masters.” Basically, Jesus is our Boss – he’s who we ultimately report to. He’s got the best 401k plan out there! So, we seek Jesus, we pray, and we release control.

And then we realize that all relationships need boundaries. And that’s a good thing. Because once we realize that, then we can easily recognize the Crazy trains. It allows us to choose what we engage in and what we turn away from. The arguments, the judgments, and the unhealthy cycles in others don’t stop just because we get off their train– they just keep going until they pull into someone else’s station. And when you can watch them go freely, that’s when you experience God’s peace.