Making Room for Her: A Study of the Most Famous In-Law RelationshipChikamu

DAY 1

Our first impressions give us a filter by which we view our future relationship. A positive first meeting can give us hope for a healthy and even close relationship with our future in-law. It might make us eager for the next meeting, when we can continue to get to know one another and build a friendship. Yet a negative first impression can have the opposite effect. A discouraging and disappointing meeting can dash the hopeful thoughts we once had. Instead we might dread the next time we’re together—when the next hurtful word might be spoken. But God’s word never leaves us in despair. Even if you have the worst initial impression of your in-law, God’s word gives us hope for change.

Sometimes we can be stuck in a rut of how we view someone, assuming they’re always going to be a problem. We replay the hurtful words or inconsiderate actions like a broken record. But today’s verse from Isaiah 43 challenges us to make a change. Instead of dwelling on all the negative interactions we have had, we are to make an effort to forget them, not even to consider them. We need to believe that God is doing a new thing, starting in our own hearts. He makes a way in the midst of our desert times and gives us reason to hope.

What could this look like in real life? For a daughter-in-law (DIL), it could look like picking up when your phone rings with your mother-in-law’s (MIL) number lighting up. It could look like prayerful anticipation when you learn she’s coming for a visit. It could look like counting down the days on the calendar with your children to help the whole family anticipate her visit—helping everyone’s hearts receive her the way you’d want to be received (or talked about) before entering her home.

On the flip side, what if you’re the MIL and it’s your DIL who is coming to visit? When the negative memories of unkind words and thoughtless actions come flooding back into your mind, ask God to help you filter your thoughts. Think about what’s kind and good and pure. When she comes, notice when she gets things right. And even in the places she doesn’t, practice the kind of mercy toward her that you want when you get things wrong sometimes (and the kind of mercy you were given from God—and needed from others—when you were in the green years of marriage or motherhood).

This week, we’ll walk together through the book of Ruth and the most famous MIL/DIL relationship. Through Naomi and Ruth’s story, we’ll be encouraged that even during seasons when our relationships seem hopeless, discouraging, and difficult, we can rely on God and his good purposes. We can ask for his help in making room for her in our hearts and lives.

For reflection:

• What was your first impression of your in-law? How did this experience shape your expectations of the relationship from that point forward?
• In what situations are you tempted to despair because you are tired of waiting for God to act?