7 Truths of Marriage: How Two Become OneChikamu

Becoming Courteous

Like apples of gold in settings of silver

Is a word spoken at the right time.

Proverbs 25:11 (Amplified)

Growing up, I heard two phrases that still ring in my head; “Mind your own business” – mostly because I was a curious kid and “Mind your manners” – mostly because I was a bit of a wildcard. Although Leah still likes to remind me, I’ve completely embraced the importance of courtesy in marriage. A simple please and thank you still go a long way even after the wedding day’s “I do.”

Manners are relationship glue. The lack of courtesy causes resentment and offense, leading your spouse to feel disrespected or insecure. A great measuring stick for the value of considerate behavior is recalling your dating season that led up to marriage. Part of that pursuit was paying attention to the little things that made big impressions—opening the door and showing genuine appreciation for any effort, no matter how small. It wasn’t the act; it was the intention.

Becoming courteous is a key part of growing two as one. Showing courtesy is an intentional effort. You made an effort to develop your marriage, so continue the path to becoming one by exercising kindness. On a side but very important note, learning to receive and acknowledge acts of courtesy is equally awesome.

Truth Talk:

Have an honest conversation with your spouse about how they perceive you treat them. You may think you are the most courteous human on planet earth, but if your spouse isn’t in agreement, then it’s a perfect place to begin the discussion. Also, do make it critical; be courteous.