ImpactChikamu

I know some outstanding leaders who get a case of hives when I tell them they should find a counselor. They think going to a counselor is an admission of mental and emotional weakness. They say something like, “I’m not going to a counselor. Do you think I’m nuts?” That’s when I tell them I’ve been going to a counselor every other week for more than 20 years. My counselor is a vital member of my personal growth team. I used to be wary of going to a counselor, as well, but I finally determined that I wanted a professional coach to help me in my marriage, parenting, and pastoring. So, I swallowed my pride and sought out a counselor.

When I started looking for a counselor, I wanted to find someone who was incredibly gifted at counseling and who happened to be a Christian. That’s just me. I didn’t want someone who was openly skeptical of my faith, but I also didn’t want someone who would spout off scripture verses and give me superficial encouragement. I wanted to find someone who was both spiritually astute and clinically sound. And by the way, I decided I didn’t want to wait until I was clinically depressed before I made an appointment. I’ve found that I’m a better husband, father, and leader because I regularly see a wise counselor.

In the last chapter of Galatians, Paul encourages us to “carry one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). That’s what a counselor does for us. He or she is a professionally trained burden-bearer for the particular weights we carry. Mine helps me untangle my confusing thoughts and process my often conflicting emotions.

Ask your friends for a referral, and even then, if it’s not a good fit, find someone else. But don’t jump ship because the counselor probes a bit and hits a painful nerve. That’s part of the healing process for most of us. Thankfully, I can talk to my counselor about long-buried hurts and current struggles, how to relate to my family and how to be a better leader. Nothing is off the table when I talk to him.