Legacy Leadership: Wisdom Of The Apostle PaulChikamu

Affectionate and Emotional – Part 2

Psychologist Daniel Goleman emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence – EQ - for leaders. He believes that the ability to understand, manage and express our emotions constructively is the primary trait for effective leadership. Leaders who have high levels of EQ manage their own emotions, and they help others manage their emotions. Emotional Intelligence helps leaders develop trusting relationships with their followers.

Long before modern social scientists discovered the importance of constructively managing and expressing emotions, Paul was practicing it.

“But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.” (1 Thessalonians 2:7-8)

We can see the affection and emotion that characterized Paul’s relationship with the Thessalonians. He was obviously comfortable in expressing the deep affection and fond feelings he had about them.  He was aware of his feelings about them, and expressed these emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

These strong feelings impacted his leadership. This is seen in the words and phrases he uses to describe the way he led them. First, he was gentle among them. Gentleness is a fruit of the spirit that isn’t usually associated with leadership. To be gentle is to be kind, but the meaning extends to other virtues as well. It includes acceptance, compassion, tolerance of imperfections, and patience. Paul uses the image of a nursing mother to describe his care for those he was leading. This metaphor illustrates the kind of personal care Paul sought to provide the Thessalonians. His affection for those he led was like that of a mother who is willing to sacrifice her life for her child. This sacrificial love reflects that of Christ who was willing to give up his own life for those who would be born again into the family of God (Mark 10:45).

The phrase “tenderly cares” literally translated refers to “warm with body heat.” A loving mother would take her baby in her arms and warm the child with her own body heat. The strong feelings a mother has for her children are unparalleled in any other human relationship. Paul extends this metaphor by using a unique phrase – fond affection - to describe his feelings for the Thessalonians. “Fond affection” means to long for someone passionately and earnestly. Paul links this to a mother’s love for her children to indicate that his affection is so deep and so compelling that it is unsurpassed by any other feelings.

Paul had such a fond affection for these people that he was willing to share his soul and sacrifice his life on their behalf.

Reflect and Act on these questions:

• Paul was very fond of the Thessalonians, and was comfortable expressing his affection for them. How comfortable are you when it comes to expressing your fondness for the people in your life?
• As a leader, how comfortable are you with the idea of being “affectionate and emotional” with your followers?
• How important do you feel emotional intelligence is to your effectiveness as a leader?
• What are the potential benefits of improving your emotional intelligence? What negative consequences might result if you don’t develop your emotional intelligence?