Complement: A 5-Day Devo for MenChikamu

DAY 4 - Your Wife’s Biggest Cheerleader 

Jamie and I don’t speak the same language, and we’re not into the same things. But we’ve decided to do our absolute best to cheer each other on, even when we don’t understand the intricate details of the other person’s passionate interests. And you know what? It takes work, intentionality, and words.

As Jamie and I have processed our desire to be each other’s biggest cheerleader, we often remind each other that no one should out-cheer our spouse. If I were to never hear kind, affirming, encouraging words from my spouse, it would make comments from other women incredibly dangerous. My heart would swell. I would crave it more and more. Words do that. If Jamie were to never hear positive and beautiful words of admiration from me about her job and what she does, it would be easy for her to find encouragement from social media and fans after a live event. But when both spouses agree to be each other’s biggest cheerleader, nobody else’s words can compare. 

As we aim to complement each other, Jamie and I have made a serious determination to cheer each other on in life, both publicly and privately. And it’s made a massive difference in how we interact with each other, and what is able to puff up our heart, and swell our pride.

I guess I want you to hear this—words matter. You can’t truly have a marriage that complements each other if you don’t compliment each other.  And, I’m not talking about cheap compliments either. I’m talking about owning the fact that your words are powerful. Words have the power to degrade and squash people, but they also have the power to lift people up and send them soaring. You can’t take words for granted. And whether you want to admit it or not, someone will encourage your spouse. It will be someone at work, or someone at the gym, or someone online. But, it will happen.

Most affairs don’t start by casually making out with a stranger. They don’t usually start with just a desire for sex, but a desire to be known, understood, admired. Most affairs (either emotional or physical affairs) start by someone taking the place of the spouse by speaking words that the other person is desperate to hear.

The human heart can’t help but crave verbal affirmation. And when there is a void of verbal affirmation in marriage, a wide open door exists, making it all too easy for anyone to walk right in and speak a word of encouragement that blossoms into much more than anyone ever expected.

So, why not make an intentional effort to never be out-done in speaking highly of your spouse? Why not do whatever it takes to find opportunities to give the life-giving words of encouragement to the one you’ve made a covenant with to endure with until the end? 

Discuss with your spouse: 

• Tell each other how much encouraging words of affirmation mean to you. Give a specific example, if possible. 
• How will you “cheerlead” your spouse this week? In what areas does your spouse need verbal encouragement right now?