Bulletproof MarriagesChikamu

Put A Filter On Your Heart

A real man is not how he has been portrayed in so many cultures, in the deviant and perverted “Macho” culture. A real man is not the one who can last the longest at a pub drinking alcoholic beverages, but the one who lasts the longest playing with his children at home. A real man is not the one who yells the loudest, but the one who loves his wife the most. It is not the one who has been married many times with a history he likes to show off everywhere, but the one who thinks of being faithful to one woman. A real man is the one who, after many years, still has a wife who feels proud of him. 

The third filter we need is the one we should put on the heart of each spouse. We know that from the heart flow the springs of life. We are not talking about putting a filter on our physical heart, but within us, at the center of our emotions. That is the only way we can experience something we will need during our married lives: forgiveness. We need a filter on our heart so that every time it gets contaminated there can be forgiveness. That filter receives everything we do not like, every negative word, and every action that wants to destroy our marriage and our hearts. 

If we do not learn to forgive and walk practicing forgiveness as a filter on our hearts, our marriages will most likely fail. Forgiveness is not an emotion; it is a decision. Forgiveness is to intentionally end that period in our lives that caused us pain. It is taking away its power to keep hurting us. It is leaving pain at a specific place, so that we may never feel it again.

We need to bury that which has caused us pain, cover it, and never dig it up again. We need to understand that what happened, what they said to us, does not need to destroy our marriage. What can destroy our marriage is our lack of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the good management of our hearts. You can avoid the cost of anger, hatred, bitterness, and disappointment. Forgiveness is meant to be like a debt that has been paid, fully paid. When. you forgive, you do not bring the offense up again and again. You set it aside and move on. 

Reflect

 Am I applying the process of forgiveness in my marriage?

 I pray that you can decide to forgive your spouse.