Trapped by ControlChikamu

Another Way

My kids are great kids, but I feel the weight of making them and their lives as close to perfect as I can. Worry drives me to control their friends, food, music, and well, just about everything. I hate it, but I’m even willing to manipulate, yell, and nag to make it happen.

Control is selfish and serves our personal fears and desires. We are focusing on others but making life about us and what we think is best. Instead of guaranteeing perfect outcomes, it draws our attention away from the true goal: to know and love Jesus more. We need to stop striving for perfection and start striving to give Jesus. His truth. His love. His way of life. Jesus is the only thing that produces heart change.

Control is a temporary fix, not a permanent change. No matter our efforts or tactics, we can’t control life’s outcomes. When we try, God’s ultimate plan is missed. He is calling us out of fear and into love. Away from controlling and into leading. 

We can’t really control anything, but we can lead almost everything. Leading is the complete opposite of controlling. Control demands perfection, shout commands and is inward-focused. Leading provides direction, asks questions, and is outward focused. Ultimately, it makes who Jesus is and what He wants the main goal of each situation.

Leading others is messy and takes a lot of self-control. There will be failure, confusion, and misunderstandings. We will want to force our opinions and condemn mistakes. But, if we invite Jesus into the mess, we can rise up and lead ourselves and others to His greatness. We can’t be in control and release control at the same time. It just doesn’t work. Is there an area God is asking you to surrender so you can start leading?

If you enjoyed this 4-day plan from Markey Motsinger , be sure to check out and download the bible study, Trapped.