come home. | A Redemptive Roadmap from Lust Back to ChristChikamu

Lie 3 : “Embracing sexual purity won’t satisfy the desires of my heart.”

Maybe right now the desires of your heart clash with the life that God’s created you for. Perhaps you’re afraid that you’ll regret following Jesus or that somehow you’ll miss out by denying these sexual longings that wage war within you daily. I definitely struggled with this when I felt God inviting me to enter into a relationship with Christ. I doubted whether I could really trust God to be enough for me. Maybe you’re not sure if you can either. 

Why is it so hard for us to surrender our souls and sexuality to God? I don’t know the specifics of your situation, but one of my biggest obstacles to believing God cared about my inner longings resulted from how American culture shaped my perspective on sexuality.

Whether it’s a pop song, Hollywood film, or magazine, we’re constantly encouraged to satisfy our sensual cravings at all costs. Exercising self-control over our sexual impulses is equated with denying our identities or depriving ourselves of happiness. And all of this builds up into this spiritual fear of missing out. Friend, I can tell you from experience that this “if it feels good do it” philosophy sounds good, but it doesn’t hold up well in everyday life. 

Lust and contentment cannot coexist because to lust is to yearn for what you can’t have, instead of finding joy in what’s right in front of you without it being sexual. We know that there are many parts to our lives, not just our sexual beings, but often lust hinders us from fully experiencing the life we could be reaching for. When we believe the lie that God doesn’t care about our desires, we distance ourselves from Him, our Creator and the Lover our hearts truly long for. So what does God’s word say about our desires and His plans for them? 

In the moment when lust seduces and entices us, it seems so promising and life-giving, right? But God's word tells us the truth about our unchecked desires. I love the way Eugene Patterson summarizes this thought. In James 1:15 he paraphrases, “Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer.” Sin kills us spiritually by slaying our affections for God and hardening our hearts toward Him (Ezekiel 36:26). But when we enter a relationship with Christ, God gives us new hearts that are tender and responsive to Him (Ezekiel 36:27). Sin won't feel welcoming or fulfilling anymore, because God’s Spirit will make us sensitive to the ways we offend God. 

Choosing to trust God with my soul and my sexuality was a huge first step in coming home to my Heavenly Father. One thing made moving forward less complicated for me: choosing to trust God one day at a time. I stopped worrying about the future and trusted God with each day as it came. As I continued to exercise my faith day-by-day and decision-by-decision, God was faithful to give me strength when I was weak, healing when I felt broken, and joy when life felt unpromising. 

Because God met me right where I was and relieved the immediate heartbreak I felt in that season of my life, I was able to appreciate His unconditional love. Out of gratitude for that love, I embraced His purpose for my life. And I promise, Sister, He longs to do the same for you. The only question is: Will you trust Him with your soul and sexuality?

Exercise for the day:

In the top center of a blank piece of paper, write “Says Who?” Next, draw a speech bubble and write a present belief you hold about sexuality. Next, ask yourself, “Says who?” Where does this belief originate? Is it a person? An experience? Your feelings? A celebrity or pop culture? Is it a teaching of the Bible? If so, what verse? Repeat these steps until you are finished. Afterward, consider who most influences your perspective on sexuality. What thoughts do you need to bring under submission to Christ, the Creator and final authority on sexuality?  

Questions for Reflection:

In what ways does the entertainment you consume (tv programs, social gatherings, video games, music, books/comics, etc.) strengthen the stronghold of lust in your life? How might this be impacting your ability to trust God with your sexuality? What’s your plan for protecting your mind from these lust-driven influences?