Conflict At WorkChikamu

Go and Address the Person Directly

How do we restore broken relationships? In Matthew 18, Jesus gives us a template for dealing with someone who has wronged us. He does not say, “Get even!” or “Strike back!” or “Prove that you were right.” Instead, he lays out a process that begins with seeking one-on-one to be reconciled.

Even in the healthiest workplaces, conflicts arise. When they do, the only effective resolution is for those in conflict to engage each other directly, not to complain to others. Rather than play out a conflict in front of an audience, meet with the person privately.

In the age of electronic communication, Jesus’ approach to “go” directly to the other person is more important than ever. All it takes is a name or two in the “cc:” line or one press of the “reply all” button to turn an ordinary disagreement into an office feud. Even if two people could keep an email chain to themselves, the possibilities for misunderstanding are multiplied when an impersonal medium such as e-mail is used. Therefore, unless doing so would put you in danger, it is probably best to take Jesus’ advice literally, “Go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.”

If you’ve been hurt, take the first step toward reconciliation, even though it may make you feel awkward or vulnerable. Likewise, if we believe we’ve hurt someone, Matthew 5:23 makes it clear that we should go and get right with him or her. Either way, it takes humility to be the first to say, “Hey, there’s something that’s been weighing on me. Can we talk?”

Sometimes conflicts aren’t resolved one-on-one. In that case Matthew 15:16 tells us to seek help from others with the appropriate skills and authority. This does not mean complaining to other people, but finding the right person(s) to help us resolve differences with the person we’re in conflict with.

Prayer

Jesus, your command to go and be reconciled is difficult. I ask for you to both strengthen me with your might and soften my heart to hear from your Spirit. Amen.

Further Exploration

Click to read more from the Theology of Work Project about conflict resolution in Matthew 18.