Encouragement For The BrokenheartedChikamu

When I was 21 years old my father had an emotional breakdown. My sister and I were unaware of what had been happening in our family. For us, this marked the beginning of a difficult 5-year journey that ended in our parents’ separation.

I grew up in the church. My whole life my parents were in ministry. They were responsible for teaching me the ways of the LORD and inspiring me to love God and live devoted to Him. How could this happen? How were their hearts so hardened? How did the enemy creep in and attack our family in such a big way? It was so complicated and devastating. I never imagined my mom would call me to tell me she moved out of the house and might be speaking to a lawyer about a divorce. Unfortunately, I’m not alone. I have many friends who were raised in Christian homes with their parents divorcing. As adult children we find ourselves in an odd, heart-breaking place.

God used Psalm 119:71 to help me renew my mind in such a dark, confusing season. “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to Your decrees.” This pain was good for us. All along God’s heart was breaking with ours, but He knew that if we chose to allow it, it would be the very thing that would bring us closer to Him and each other—the thing that refined us to be more like Jesus.

Through this, the Gospel came alive to me more than ever. I loved my dad though he was doing unlovable things. This experience humbled me. No one is immune to anything…not to any sin or temptation affecting them or their family. I became more aware of things I needed to do in order to safeguard my own marriage against such trials. This was actually a blessing. By God’s grace, my parents have since reconciled, and our family is closer than ever.

Are you finding it hard to see the good in your pain? Know that God is so loving and faithful that He even uses affliction to draw us nearer to Him—to purify us to be more like Him and even to bless us. I pray you let Him in; let Him do this, not so it’s easy or painless, but to do a beautiful work in your life as well.

By Elaine Moore