Get the appLaunching Your Kids Into AdulthoodSample
FAILURE TO LAUNCH
Birds teach their young to fly by shoving them out of the nest. We humans have better ways of launching our kids into the adult world. Or do we?
When department store founder J.C. Penney was eight years old, his father told him that, as of that moment, he’d have to support himself. Except for food and shelter, he’d have to earn life’s necessities for himself. When young J.C. Penney asked for a new pair of shoes to get started, his dad answered, “You’re on your own.” That was the 1880s.
Fast forward to our present day, and many parents face a different problem. Junior is 27. He’s earned a college degree and been in and out of a few jobs already. Now he’s back with mom and dad, sleeping till noon, and hanging out with friends the rest of the day. But don’t worry – he’s committed to moving out as soon as he “gets his head together.”
Is there a happy medium somewhere between these two extremes? I think so. It lies in the concept of “age-appropriate responsibility.” Simply explained, parents should expect their kids to be responsible for themselves at a level appropriate for their age and ability. An 8-year-old can vacuum. A 16-year-old can get a part-time job. And as for that unmotivated 27-year-old – well, let’s just say he’s capable of doing a lot more than play video games in the basement all day.
As someone once said, “God won’t do for you what you can do for yourself.” There’s an element of truth to that idea. Don’t do for your children what they can do for themselves. The first step is recognizing your child’s capabilities. The second is expecting them to do it. It’s foundational to the way God parents us, so we can trust it’s the best way to help our kids successfully launch into adulthood.
Birds teach their young to fly by shoving them out of the nest. We humans have better ways of launching our kids into the adult world. Or do we?
When department store founder J.C. Penney was eight years old, his father told him that, as of that moment, he’d have to support himself. Except for food and shelter, he’d have to earn life’s necessities for himself. When young J.C. Penney asked for a new pair of shoes to get started, his dad answered, “You’re on your own.” That was the 1880s.
Fast forward to our present day, and many parents face a different problem. Junior is 27. He’s earned a college degree and been in and out of a few jobs already. Now he’s back with mom and dad, sleeping till noon, and hanging out with friends the rest of the day. But don’t worry – he’s committed to moving out as soon as he “gets his head together.”
Is there a happy medium somewhere between these two extremes? I think so. It lies in the concept of “age-appropriate responsibility.” Simply explained, parents should expect their kids to be responsible for themselves at a level appropriate for their age and ability. An 8-year-old can vacuum. A 16-year-old can get a part-time job. And as for that unmotivated 27-year-old – well, let’s just say he’s capable of doing a lot more than play video games in the basement all day.
As someone once said, “God won’t do for you what you can do for yourself.” There’s an element of truth to that idea. Don’t do for your children what they can do for themselves. The first step is recognizing your child’s capabilities. The second is expecting them to do it. It’s foundational to the way God parents us, so we can trust it’s the best way to help our kids successfully launch into adulthood.
Scripture
About this Plan
Do parents ever stop being parents? Well, yes and no. You’ll never stop loving your children. But once they’re adults, everything changes. Your influence in their lives, the complexion of your relationship, even the dynamics in your marriage will be impacted by the empty nest. But change doesn’t have to mean chaos. With a little preparation, parents can smooth out the bumps that crop up when kids transition into adulthood.
More
We would like to thank Jim Daly for providing this plan. For more information, please visit: www.jimdalyblog.com
