Learning to Listen…to God & to OthersSample

Practices in Listening

Now, for a quick review of what we have learned so far:

The first thing in becoming a good listener is to turn off every instinct to talk about yourself. Doing this will confront your impatience and selfishness.If you lose the moment by making it about you, you will never go deeper in the Lord or with others.

I went with a friend a few years back to hear John Maxwell speak at a luncheon. My friend always gets seats at the front. We arrived early, and my friend headed off somewhere. Wouldn’t you know it? John Maxwell was also early and sat at the head table next to me. We ended up talking for 15 uninterrupted minutes. After dinner and on the way home, my friend asked me what John and I had discussed. As I ruminated over our conversation, it became apparent that John had humbly peppered me with questions about my profession, things I had learned about education, and how I integrated my spiritual life into my work. He had turned the conversation on me and spent the entire 15 minutes getting to know me.

John Maxwell is skilled in the art of inquiry. He knows how to ask questions and get to know someone. More importantly, John can engage, listen, and give people a sense of worth by valuing their opinions, thoughts, and experiences.

Let’s establish this fact.You must be teachable if you want to listen to God and to people. You must be open-minded, even curious. You must approach conversations humbly instead of showing off how much you know or trying to prove a point.

Here are a few tips for better listening:

1. Stop multi-tasking! Keep your phone out of sight and have it turned off. Not only will this bash the phone’s distractions, but it will also show respect for the other person.
   
2. Make it a habit to give someone your full attention, try hard to understand them, and acknowledge what they are saying. When you send non-verbal communication signals, it indicates you are intensely listening.
   
3. Make it your goal to be skilled in asking deep-hearted questions. When forming relationships with others, genuinely hearing them, making them feel valued, and asking meaningful questions will win the day.