Healing Along the Masculine JourneySample

Day 5: King (Age 40’s - 60’s)

How do I love and lead, provide for and protect, reign and rule well for those given to me?

In the King Stage, all the days of all the previous stages mix together to make for how a man will live, how he will see himself and see the world, and most importantly, how he will reign. This stage is the culmination of years—the collective work of trials and errors; the wounders and wounding moments over a lifetime; the agreements and vows a man makes; what he has come to believe about himself, others, and God; and the healing he has received, if he has received any— all will be on display in the king stage. This is the stage when how a man was loved over his lifetime will determine how he will love others at this time of his life. Here a man begins to feel his life. His response may blossom into a midlife crisis, or it can become the man’s gateway to the path of healing and overcoming.

If bad kings bear their unhealed wounds, good kings learn how healing brings great goodness and glory. Healed hearts heal hearts, and it’s the hope of being good kings that inspires us to cross the checkerboard of life and become a new piece, take on a new role, and help others across the board so they can become more. The king stage is the time when a man learns how to wield power and authority—when his reign (where his will is offered and his choices affect others) has expanded in ways that, for better or worse, have far-reaching impact. A bad king can do great damage. But a good king has the love, the resources, the connections, the reputation, and the wisdom and experience to tremendously benefit other hearts and lives.

No matter how much brokenness or how much goodness you bring into the king stage, God wants the job of Fathering you. Every man needs that for his comeback: the Father to father him, Jesus to equip him, and the Holy Spirit to guide and counsel him in his Masculine Journey. Every man needs the Trinity to kindly walk him to freedom. And the Trinity needs a few good men in your life to partner with in validating and initiating you with their words and presence. Your comeback and training require quite a team!

That’s the glory of a good king. Recovering, overcoming and becoming, healing and training in the earlier stages of your past—this is the work of a king, while at the same time learning to love and lead well in a wounding world. That’s the reason to heed the call and step onto the kingly path of healing. Your story is maturing. Your power is at its peak. And many hearts and destinies are counting on you. You will need friends, oriented friends, good warriors, kings, and elder-sages to journey with you and with whom you can journey. Counselor and author Dan Allender once wrote, “Find like-hearted kings, living in the same direction and sign treaties. When they’re at war, you’re at war.”

As you ponder all this with God today, consider asking Him:

Father, what hearts and lives do my reign and influence impact?

Jesus, what stands in the way of my being a good king living from my true self?

Spirit, what men are on my team for my comeback? How do I find them and engage with them well?