Joseph: When Life’s a RollercoasterSample

Joseph and His Brothers: How to Forgive the Unforgivable

As famine hits, Joseph’s brothers make their way down to Egypt to buy grain. They don’t recognise their brother, who is now Prime Minister of Egypt and has the power to exact revenge for what they did to him when he was a teenager. Unthinkably, Joseph chooses to forgive them. These are some of the most emotional chapters in the Bible, revealing how we too can forgive the unforgivable.

Joseph’s choice to forgive his brothers (Genesis 42-45) would have been entirely counterintuitive and countercultural – like it is in our society today. Joseph had a lot of forgiving to do: his brothers, Potiphar’s wife, Potiphar himself, the cupbearer. To help me understand forgiveness, I think of a garden hosepipe. Every person I keep on my hate list – the list of people I’m unwilling to forgive or against whom I hold a grudge – is like another kink in the hosepipe, restricting or cutting off altogether the flow of God’s Grace through my life. That helps me remember that choosing to forgive isn’t just about being kind to my enemies; it’s also good for me.

Of course, it’s important to know what forgiveness is not. Firstly, forgiving is not the same as just forgetting. Secondly, to forgive someone doesn’t mean making excuses for what they did to you. Joseph forgives his brothers, but he never pretends what they did wasn’t all that bad. Years after he and his brothers have reconciled, he still doesn’t sugarcoat their treatment of him. He says, ‘You intended evil against me…’ (Genesis 50:20). If sin wasn’t a big deal and we could just explain it away, Jesus needn’t have been crucified. Thirdly, to forgive someone isn’t the same as trusting them. Joseph forgives his brothers, but he still exercises discernment, testing their characters to see if they can be trusted (Genesis 42-44).

Genesis 45 shows us what reconciliation can look like, and it’s beautiful. The relationship between Joseph and his repentant brothers is completely restored. Something divine and transcendent happens when a person chooses to forgive. Powers of darkness shrink in defeat. As Joseph weeps with his brothers, embraces them, kisses them, and promises good to them, the universe is being drained of toxic waste.

Take some time to be honest before God. Who is on your hate list? Who do you keep at arm’s length? Who do you secretly hope to see fail? Against whom are you still harbouring a grudge? Who do you need to forgive? God is inviting us to be part of a more magnificent story. It’s impossible to live in freedom if we’re holding onto hopes for revenge. But when we choose to forgive, we release the flow of God’s Love into a world that desperately needs the counterintuitive, countercultural, trajectory-altering, world-changing power of forgiveness.