A Husband's Role in MarriageSample

Be a Lover

As a parent, I’ve given many commands to my children over the years—clean up your room, eat your dinner, come here, go there. But for all the things I’ve ordered them to do, I don’t think I’ve ever ordered them to “fall in love” with someone.

Love has always felt more elusive, more uncontrollable. “You can’t control who you fall in love with,” the saying goes. Yet, God has no problem commanding us to love. He doesn’t say, “fall in love,” as if we were tripping into a hole we couldn’t see. He says, “walk in love.” Love isn’t random or wandering. It is purposeful, not merely a way of feeling, but a way of being. Love is a decision and an action.

With all the roles a husband must fulfill, it can be easy to overlook the most fundamental role of all, that of a lover. Yet if we get everything else right and forget to walk in love, we “gain nothing.”

God calls a husband to pursue his bride with a gentle, selfless, hopeful, and passionate love, not only when our wives “deserve it,” but at all times. When we do, we not only show the world a picture of Christ’s love for his church, but also our wives and our marriages are able to thrive.

At FamilyLife, we want to help you be the kind of husband God created you to be, so we’ve gathered some of our best resources for husbands in one place. If you’d like more help, please visit our “Godly Husbands” page.