He Cheated and He ReconcilesSample

You want to forgive, you know you need to forgive, but how do you forgive? Scripture tells us to forgive someone we must pray for that person. Praying for someone who has wronged us is hard, right? You probably want to “lay hands on them” but not in the holiest of ways. I know that I have to deal with a delicate balance of half hood and half holy, and sometimes a little ratchet with my righteousness. Who feels this? But, in all seriousness God calls us to pray for the least of these. As we must consider the other person who sinned to also be experiencing grief. It is so much easier to pray for someone when we like them, but what if they have genuinely hurt and dogged us out? We still must pray for them as the destination to forgiveness is a journey, not a one time event that takes time, with intentional love, and prayer.

Another way to forgive your spouse is to practice the attitude of gratitude. When we constantly think of the damage they have done, or the hurt they have caused we allow ourselves to stay in a mental space of reliving and revisiting the wounds. However, rejoicing and giving gratitude to our Savior for what He has done and what He continues to do then positions our heart to be pardoned of the pain and past. You get out what you put in, right? How many times has that saying been said in your life in various ways? Well, it’s true with forgiveness as well. If you are constantly bashing, telling all of your friends about the turmoil and hurt, and posting about your pain and betrayal, how do you ever move into the love and restoration God wants for you and your family? Speak bold prayers, encourage, support, pray for the Lord to reveal what you are to learn through this process and lift your spouse up daily in prayer so their heart can also be made flesh.

Lastly, build a community of women who biblically support your journey and gather with you through your journey of anxiety, confusion, guilt, betrayal and trauma. Women who are spirit filled and want to encourage you to be kind, loving and forgiving with self-control. Guard your heart from bashing your spouse and hide your heart from bitterness, so you can bestow kindness and forgiveness through the journey of unforgiveness.