She's Not Your Enemy: Conquering Our Insecurities So We Can Build God's Kingdom TogetherSample

Seeking God in Heartache

But what happens when the God who is supposed to be loving and accepting feels far away?

Sometimes the absence of answered prayer can feel like a flat-out rejection from God—the most difficult rejection of all.

We desperately search for answers when we’re in the midst of pain. Why would God allow this heartache? Is he mad at me? Our feelings of grief and loss can sometimes make us hard-hearted toward others—especially if someone else is bursting with that very good news we’ve been waiting on.

Just as people are not your biggest enemy, they are also not your biggest source of relief when it comes to heartbreak. As Proverbs 14:10 says, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.”

We, as people, can connect with each other. We can pray for one another. We can counsel one another. I’m a huge advocate for therapy and having someone ask you the right questions and help point you back to the truth.

But there is only one who can fully understand, knows us deeply and is familiar with all our ways (see Psalm 139:3), and hems us in behind and before (verse 5). That’s our compassionate, generous, deeply loving Creator.

You cannot fully find peace or comfort through other people. Your peace comes from this: the God who knows you by heart and engraves you on his hand (see Isaiah 49:16) invites you to work through the sorrows and challenges directly with him.

There is nothing simple about working out your heartbreak with your heavenly Father. Just as grief isn’t one time only, surrender is ongoing, a practice of constantly working out the pain with him to find faith and hope through it all.

But when your questions feel too big or your sadness overwhelming, remember that God is the God of good things for us. He orchestrates our lives for our greatest good—which might look different from our carefully mapped-out plans. Know that when you come to him, even with questions, tears, or pain, he welcomes you in.

Think of a hope deferred that felt unbearable to you. What helped you get through it? What were some doubts you had to work through with God, and how was he present with you during that time?