How to Manage Our Anger

Think of the most valuable object you can imagine. Perhaps it is a painting, a stunning piece of jewellery or even a great building. Maybe its value is so high that it can’t even be insured. Now think of a human being, any human being, perhaps your spouse, your child, your sibling, your friend. Which is more valuable? The answer’s easy, isn’t it?

Today, we’re examining the sixth commandment, ‘You shall not murder’ – an apparently clear, simple instruction, that might not feel like it could ever apply to us. But it means confronting some uncomfortable issues of life and death, while also celebrating the sacred value of all human life.

Just four words – ‘You shall not murder’ – but the principles behind them are far-reaching.

When Jesus taught on the sixth commandment he broadened the scope.

‘You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, “You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.” But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.’(Matthew 5:21-22 NIV)

What Jesus is teaching us here is that murder is simply the ultimate and most destructive form of anger. It is where anger, if unchecked, will ultimately end up. God wants not only to stop the action of murder, but he also wants to go further and stop those thoughts that act as the seeds of murder.

The word ‘anger’ appears 455 times in the Bible and in 375 cases it refers to God. God gets angry – at injustice, hypocrisy, and lies, and at people who inflict pain on each other. Jesus was angry in the temple at the way the money changers and sellers of sacrifices had gotten in the way of people meeting with God.

But there’s a difference between God’s righteous anger and ours. God is perfect and all-knowing and is always justified, both in the way he is angry and the way that he expresses it. The same cannot be said for us.

We all get cross – some more than others. So how should we handle our anger so it doesn’t escalate out of control?

It seems to me that a proper self-respect is the key. On the one hand, because God made us in his image and loves us, we are of very great worth. On the other, as weak, fallible, and sinful human beings, our view of ourselves may be flawed. Self-respect means being secure enough in ourselves to know when it’s us that’s in the wrong, and be humble enough to admit it.

Here’s a puzzle for you: what do Moses, David, and Paul have in common? Clearly, they were all followers of God and each is credited with writing large sections of the Bible, but, astonishingly enough, they were all people who had committed murder. Remarkably, we don’t remember them for that; we remember them for what God did in and through them. The good news is that God works with people like us. And if he can do it in them, he can do it in you and me . . . whatever the sin.

A little under two thousand years ago God gave his Son to be murdered so that we could be given life, allowing us to be transformed from those who hate and desire to take life, to those who are loving peacemakers and want to give life. We are to be witnesses to a different way of living. And never in the last two thousand years has that witness been more needed.