Rebuilding Ruins

Ruins: The remains of something destroyed; parts of something destroyed & can’t be used anymore. Destroyed with some parts remaining.

If you’re reading this, you’ve experienced or are about to experience divorce. I wish I were welcoming you to a super cool club where we host brunches and play games all day. As you already know, this is no social club. Divorce is one of the most devastating personal adversities you can go through. The undoing of two who became one flesh is painful, gut-wrenching, and, honestly, one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

But God is faithful (1 Corinthian 1:9) to restore hope that once seemed lost.

As I walked through the first few months of divorce, God revealed his truth about me to me. Everything changed from there. I learned that I am loved (Jeremiah 31:3), despite my failed marriage, broken family, and guarded heart. I learned that God has a plan (Jeremiah 29:11) and is fulfilling a promise (Isaiah 41:10) in my life. His plan never intended to include so much pain. However, God would use my life's pain and negative experiences for good (Romans 8:28).

Most importantly, I finally realized that no matter what, God would be with me (Deuteronomy 31:8). I can hold fast to his promises even when others around me are imperfect. God showed me that healing would be my vehicle for change, not anger, rage, unforgiveness, and retaliation. One final lesson was unexpected; God showed me how to live again (John 10:10), how to wake up each day, manage the anxiety and stress, and then take the tiniest baby steps toward things that fill my emotional/spiritual cup. In the midst of this, suddenly, you look around, and the good days begin to outweigh the bad ones. Slowly but surely, God restores hope (Romans 15:13).

God wants to restore your hope. He wants to rebuild your life so that your faith in Him grows (2 Thessalonians 3:3). God wants your faith in people to be renewed and ultimately rooted in Him (Colossians 3:7), as it always should have been. If you allow it, divorce in your life will be a boulder-sized wake-up call to return to hoping in Christ alone (Romans 5:1-2).

In life, people will hurt us, break our trust, betray us, and take us for granted. What can’t be forgotten is that we don’t simply trust people; we trust God, who promises to take care of us regardless of what people do. Restoring hope after divorce isn’t about finding new people who can better love you and meet your needs. No, restored hope is about putting your full hope in the only ONE who is ready and willing to meet your needs.

In this way, your divorce is now the catalyst for your healing, growth journey, and strengthened relationship with Christ rather than a state of victimization and depression. Over the next six days, we’ll journey together towards restored hope using the H.O.P. E. acronym as your guide:

Honor the journey and release the dream.

Optimize healing by focusing on you.

People are a blessing.

Explore your interests.

Let’s begin this journey in prayer:

Thank you for being the God of restoration. You specialize in redeeming the lost and rebuilding the broken. God, I humbly present all of my broken pieces to you. Rebuild them as you see fit. Search my heart and uncover every drop of unbelief that denies you can heal my pain and rebuild my life after divorce. I believe that you have good plans in store for my life. I believe that you are a rewarder of those who diligently seek you. I believe that you will work everything out for my good. So please help me seek your face as I endeavor to grow, heal and live healthily after divorce. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.

Reflection Questions:

1. What is your biggest fear about divorce?
2. Deep within your biggest fear is a lie. What lie(s) are you currently believing?
3. Can you trust God to reveal the truth and provide peace even in unknown places?