Living Out Scripture in Your MarriageSample

Don't Deceive Yourself

Ownership or personal responsibility is one of the best gifts you can give to your marriage and spouse. Too many spouses like to fast forward over their sins and move directly toward justifications or blame. They may acknowledge their sin but quickly dismiss it or explain it away.

“I only yelled because you weren’t listening to me.”

“I only nag you because you never help.”

In other words, my sin is your fault, so it’s not mine but yours that is the real problem. But this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Scripture tells us that we deceive ourselves if we think we are without sin. It says in 1 John 1:10 that when we believe this lie about our sin, we call God a liar. Yikes! That won’t benefit your life or your marriage.

But, when we own what is ours to own, we exchange our pride for the gift of mercy. Proverbs 28:13 makes it clear that mercy comes on the other side of confession and repentance. And let me tell you, there aren’t many better gifts for your marriage than mercy.

Taking ownership of your wrongdoings in your marriage is one of the best ways to stay connected. Your spouse will never move closer to you when you cast blame their way, but they will move towards you with humility on display. There are benefits for you as well. Psalm 32 says that when we don’t confess our sins, we lose strength, and it’s as if our bones are wasting away. But when we confess our transgression, we receive the Lord’s forgiveness and can walk through life much lighter. The reality is the confession of our sins will always be a necessary part of a God-honoring marriage.

Take Action:

Do you typically create justifications for why you do the things you do? Do you believe your spouse is to blame for most things that go wrong in your marriage? Is there something you need to confess to God or apologize to your spouse? Could you take the time now to do it? Let mercy flood your heart and abound in your marriage today!