Why Wait? A Christian Guide to Sex and DatingSample
Saving Sex for Marriage
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
James 1:13-15
“When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”
1 Corinthians 10:13
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
Choosing to save sex for marriage isn’t a walk in the park. Not only is it completely opposite of what’s expected and celebrated in our culture, but it is also everywhere you look. From the songs on the radio to the movies and TV shows on Netflix, you’re likely to encounter everything from conversations about sex to scenes simulating sex. Not to mention your body naturally desires sexual intimacy. “Sexual tension” is a real experience that can be challenging to navigate if you’re saving yourself for marriage.
So, what can you do? How can you prepare your heart, mind, and body for waiting, no matter how long it is before you get married?
Set Your Boundaries Now
Not when you’re making out with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and your hormones are heightened. Decide what you believe God’s intentions for physical intimacy are based on scripture, and clearly define your boundaries. What physical affection are you comfortable with, and what acts will you save for marriage?
Communicate Your Boundaries and Intentions for Dating
It can be challenging to know someone’s intentions for dating. Are they on a dating app because they’re ready to find someone to marry? Or are they looking for a fling or hook-up? Saving yourself for marriage is much easier when the person you’re dating is too. Maybe that wasn’t their original plan, but they’re willing to respect your boundaries and not push you into doing something you don’t want to do.
The easiest way to learn someone’s intentions and share your own is to ask. If you match with someone on a dating app, ask them what they’re looking for specifically. If they want the same type of relationship you do, make it a point to communicate your boundaries before the relationship gets serious so you can avoid unmet expectations.
Lean into God When Times Get Tough
Whether you’ve had sex before and you’re recommitting yourself to waiting until marriage, or you’re a virgin, keeping yourself free of sexual immorality can be challenging at times. When challenges and temptations arise, lean into God. It may feel uncomfortable or hard at first, but He is the only one who can fulfill and sustain you as you honor Him with your relationships.
This plan was provided by Upward an app made for Christian singles looking for meaningful relationships. Get the app here: https://dateupward.me/DatingGuide
About this Plan
Were you taught that, as a Christian, you should “save” yourself for marriage and remain a virgin until having sex with your spouse for the first time? Were you taught why you should wait? In this 5-day devotional, we’re talking about God’s design for sex and why He instructs Christians to “save themselves” for marriage.
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