[Song of Songs] Like MagnetsSample

What Drives Your Heart?

Our culture promotes self–absorption, self–care, and self–love as what really matters in life. Everything has to be about me, my happiness, my emotions, my time, what I want, what I need. Now, where is God in all of this? Where is my spouse, my family, my neighbor, my coworker, my friends? The Bible says that there will be a time when people will be lovers of self rather than lovers of God; we are instructed to stay away from such people.

If you are single and looking for the one you will marry, ask: “Is this person servant–hearted or self–absorbed?” Married people, ask yourselves: “Am I servant–hearted or self–absorbed?” If you are married, is it all about you? Have the two become one and you are spending your marriage arguing over which one you became? I know, in my marriage, it could be all about me a lot of times, and that does not end well. Marriage is either going to burn that out of you or you are going to have a lot of problems in your marriage with self–absorption. Marriage is not 50% and 50% coming to make 100%; marriage is 100% and 100% coming to make a new 100%.

In Song of Songs, the bride is not self–absorbed. She puts others before herself, working in the fields for her family. When it comes to love, we must learn to put our family first, especially when we have kids. The bride also has a great work ethic. In the Bible, many women had a great work ethic. Rachel and Zipporah tended sheep; Ruth was a gleaner of the fields. The woman in Proverbs 31 works from early in the morning till late at night.

Men, marry a woman with some grit, a woman who knows how to work, how to serve, and how to put family first. She will be a blessing to you. The same goes for women: marry a man with some grit, who knows how to work, how to serve, and how to put family before himself. Parents, we must also teach this to our kids. They can get too much stuff from us, become self–absorbed, and take this into adulthood.

Let us become a servant–hearted people, servant–hearted spouses and parents. Let us learn and model a life of service and love for God and our loved ones.