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When Your Marriage Is in Trouble: What if We’re Fighting All the Time?
Sometimes people lament that they fight all the time, but the truth is that they like arguing. There’s a kind of sick thrill in push backs, zingers, and always getting in the last word. You can deflect shame and guilt for your own sins if you can tilt the floodlights on your partner’s transgressions, right?
The reverse is just as bad--holding all that anger in, saving it up for a bigger explosion later. If you can’t or won’t forgive it and let it go, then speak softly about what’s on your mind as soon as possible. St. Paul writes, ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26,27).
The same person who coined the foolish cliche forgive and forget also gave birth to time heals all wounds. Time does nothing of the sort. It only stores up and ferments anger. Only the gospel love of Christ heals wounds. Only you can decide to let Christ calm your spirit and speak gently about what is hurting you.
Sometimes people lament that they fight all the time, but the truth is that they like arguing. There’s a kind of sick thrill in push backs, zingers, and always getting in the last word. You can deflect shame and guilt for your own sins if you can tilt the floodlights on your partner’s transgressions, right?
The reverse is just as bad--holding all that anger in, saving it up for a bigger explosion later. If you can’t or won’t forgive it and let it go, then speak softly about what’s on your mind as soon as possible. St. Paul writes, ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26,27).
The same person who coined the foolish cliche forgive and forget also gave birth to time heals all wounds. Time does nothing of the sort. It only stores up and ferments anger. Only the gospel love of Christ heals wounds. Only you can decide to let Christ calm your spirit and speak gently about what is hurting you.
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About this Plan
Marriage is an amazing gift from God, but it is also hard. Many marriages struggle - partners either don’t know how to treat each other or they know and don't want to change. These devotions, one for each day of your month, are for married people, for those who hope to be married, and for all of you who used to be married. Re-listen to God's words about this sacred institution and rededicate your ways to be more like his ways.
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