Be the One: Realize It’s Not “Meant to Be”

"Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions (1 John 3:18).

Another way to become "the one" is to get rid of dangerous pop culture themes you may have believed that destroy relationships. One common pop culture theme goes like this: “Our relationship is meant to be!” This idea of relationships that are meant to be, assumes that there are pre-made people who will be as compatible as Lego pieces once they meet. It assumes these people are intact and don’t need to work on a few things. It discounts the idea that people are sinful. Meant to be, becomes a shifting goal post that only works when things are going well. It is conveniently ignored when things go wrong. Then, God becomes the target for one’s poor decisions.

The biblical description of love is not that of a meant to be kind of fate. It is more like a job description. Godly love is not just an emotion, it involves choice. 1 John 3:18 says that love consists of actions.1 Corinthians 13:4-7 lists some of those actions such as patience, endurance, forgiveness and hope. Godly love isn't something we haphazardly fall into, it is something we do. Romans describes it with action words like being sincere, clinging to good, being devoted, and honoring.

Before you say “I do” you may have the freedom to choose your love but once married your only option is to love your choice. Don't confuse modern culture's concept of meant to be with God's endorsement of a relationship. Instead, evaluate your relationship in the light of biblical descriptions of godly love.

Reflection

What is your understanding of a relationship that is meant to be? Can you provide a biblical basis for that description? Meditate on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. What characteristics stand out for you? Ask God to keep growing you into a person who chooses that kind of love in relationships.