Find Your Identity

I wasted many years calling Him “Father God” while still living like I was the master of my universe. I put my trust in money and my identity in all I could accomplish. But life got darker and darker for me.

When my biological father died of Huntington’s disease, my downward spiral went into overdrive. All I could think of was the possibility that I had unknowingly passed the gene to my daughters. I felt so forsaken, so fragile. Since life hadn’t created my desired outcome, the only belief I could conjure was that religion is dead and life is meaningless.

I became an alcoholic as I tried to numb the pain, and it was after my wife mustered up the courage to leave me that I finally stood in the quiet of my empty house and offered God the only thing needed to release my true destiny as a son: surrender.

As I dropped to my knees, I cried out, “God, I’ve been an atheist. I’ve been so mad at You for what I thought was cruelty! I thought that my failures were because You didn’t love me. I’m crying out to You now because whether I understand Your ways or not, I cannot deny that You are God, and You rule sovereignly. I may die like my earthly father, but I want to spend every last breath living like my Heavenly Father!”

I cannot fully explain what happened as I screamed out that prayer. For the first time in my life, I surrendered to God, no matter what. My relationship with Him had nothing to do with what He could do for me. It was based on what He had already done—dying on the cross.

I believe this is the first step for all of us to emerge from the chaos. We must recognize that we are not enough and call out to God. That was when my heart opened to my true identity as a son. From there, my entire world shifted out of chaos and into the beginning stages of clarity. My striving ended, and an adventure in being a son of God had begun. I have never been the same since.

Today, I know who I am. I’m a beloved son. This identity is eternal; it’s fixed. My assignments may change, but my identity remains.

You cannot control the chaos in your life. You will not find significance while chasing after the things this world offers you money, power, fame. You need an encounter with God. You need the identity that only He can give.

Question: What experiences in your life have put distance between you and God or made you question and doubt Him? What experiences have drawn you closer to Him? What does this reveal about your trust in God?