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SOUL THIRST
Anxiety and depression often walk arm-in-arm down the same street. Most of my issues, I thought, stemmed from anxiety. That is until the late spring of 2020. As an associate pastor of a large church stuck in the COVID lockdown, I struggled in my spirit.
- Our state was in a shelter-in-place mode, meaning I was isolated.
- Political turmoil and racial tension rocked our area, meaning I was anxious and depressed over things I couldn’t control.
- I was receiving a lot of criticism about how our church was dealing with the lockdowns, meaning I felt attacked.
I was at the beginning of a head-on collision with a depression episode.
Whether your depression is chronic or episodic, you’ve probably been there, too. The wet blanket descends on you, weighing you down. You don’t know where the feeling came from, but it paralyzes you. Not out of fear. Out of despair. You weep over nothing. You overreact or underreact to things going on around you.
You feel, in a word, helpless. As a result, unhealthy thoughts travel through your unhealthy mind.
The beauty about Jesus is that He meets you right in the midst of your pain and suffering. Sometimes, though, He feels far away. Really. Far. Away.
And that’s what’s happening with our psalmist in today’s verses.
"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" (Psalm 42:1-2)
The psalmist is suffering from soul thirst. He’s crying out to the living God as if he's lost in a desert that has not a drop of water. Maybe you haven’t been depressed, but we all go through those dry seasons in which we can't hear God.
If that’s you today, give yourself the freedom to simply sit in your soul thirst. Own it. Breathe in the words of this entire psalm. Be raw and real, praying your soul thirst to God.
I once heard someone say that God isn’t here to shame us. He’s here to help us. So as you pant for the living water, Jesus, know that He will not leave you nor forsake you. He’s right here with you.
* If you have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
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About this Plan
As a pastor, I was ashamed I had anxiety and depression. Too many told me it was a faith issue, a sin issue, or both. In the end, I realized it was much bigger than that. Moreover, I came to understand that Jesus didn’t want to condemn me; He wanted to help me. I hope you enjoy this 5-day devotional called “Stressed, Depressed, Hot Mess!”
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