Re-Assembly RequiredSample

Reassembly Decision #3: I will make the first move regardless of who moved away first.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, everything in me wants to close the door on someone who has shut me out. Help me move past the hurt and make the first move toward reconciliation. Help me remember that you moved toward me.

Reading

So far, we’ve learned our goal when reassembling relationships is not reconciliation—the goal is no regrets. We’re not fixing a broken plate, where we have all the pieces and can glue them back together. Another person holds some of the pieces, and we can’t control what someone else says or does. Rather than rushing at someone with an agenda, we can approach them in a posture of humility. Assuming the person we’re having an issue with is not unsafe—either physically or emotionally—we should do everything we can to remove any obstacles to reconciliation.

Paul challenges us,

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18)

Reassembly begins with us, regardless of who started the fuss. Having no regrets requires four decisions on our part. The first two are I will get back to, not back at, and I will own my slice of the blame. Today we’re going to look at the third decision we can make to move toward reconciliation:

I will make the first move regardless of who moved away first.

Underscoring this point, Jesus has a command for us that’s not easy or convenient.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23–24)

You might be wondering: A gift? An altar? What does that have to do with me? Jesus refers to first-century Judeans showing their devotion to God with a gift—often a live animal. The trip to Jerusalem—on foot—was arduous. When you finally reached the temple, you had to stand in line.

All that, and when you finally reached the altar with your gift, Jesus is saying to leave your sacrifice—which may wander off—and first take care of reconciliation. Jesus says to prioritize an unresolved conflict, and he doesn’t specify who’s at fault. It doesn’t matter who started the problem; the point is, there’s a problem.

A person might think, I’ll deal with the issue later; right now, I’m drawing near to God. So says compartmentalized, inward religion, which lets us off the hook. Real-world, others-oriented Jesus insists on first things first. We put God first by reconciling with those God loves.

Jesus is not talking about simply forgiving someone in our minds. To follow Jesus, we have to do more than headwork. Forgiveness is a step toward reconciliation. To live out the essence of our faith, we have to work toward reconciling with others.

Think about it this way: Every time you pray for yourself, your family, or your friends, you’re celebrating and leveraging the fact that God did not stop forgiving you. He reconciled with you to have a relationship with you. He hears our prayers because he forgave us and reconciled himself to us. We are reminded that we’ve lost the right to close the door on other people.

Reflection

Is it sometimes easier for you to make a religious gesture than move toward making peace with someone? Why do you think this is?