Peace for the CaregiverSample

PILL SORTING

One of the saddest moments in watching my husband ebb away was watching him try to sort his daily pills.  Because he had beginning dementia, I had to be careful not to confuse him more.  Every Saturday morning without fail, he would pull all his medicine bottles out of the cupboard, along with his 7-day pill container to refill them for the week.  He only realized it was Saturday when there were no more pills left in his container.  

As his wife who loved him, and as his caregiver who wanted to be sure he was getting the right pills in each container, I knew it was time to take over pill sorting.  When I suggested that, it was not well received.  I soon learned from others who were professionals at dealing with the decline of dementia patients to keep their life as normal as possible.  I let him sort them and then when he was resting, I would go through the container and make sure all the right pills and number of pills were in the right slots.  Doing it this way, allowed him to think he still had control.

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. – I Corinthians 13:4-7 (AMP

These scriptures out of the love chapter are one every caregiver needs to either memorize or tack on the refrigerator.  It helps us in dealing with not only the patient's attitudes but with our own.  Being a caregiver, we can fall into self-pity, and the oh, woe is me mood without realizing it. 

Many caregivers continue to have other responsibilities.  Some are still raising children.  In my case, our children were all grown and had lives of their own.  Many have work obligations, and of course, there were all the other duties of keeping up the house, paying bills, keeping appointments. grocery shopping, cooking, doing laundry and the list continues.

CAN YOU RELATE?

Something as simple as pill sorting, to a person who is declining with memory loss, is now a big deal. Learning to grow our patience and being mindful of how the patient is feeling is very important. Allowing them to decline with dignity is what we would want for ourselves if we were the patient. Join me tomorrow as we realize we are more than a caregiver!