Aftershock - Why Does He Do What He Does?Sample

Signs of Addiction

Does your husband display signs of an addiction to pornography or some other sexual compulsion? Read and carefully consider the following list. (Note: the term user refers to the person using pornography.)

1. Compulsion. The user experiences an uncontrollable drive to access pornography or engage in illicit sexual activity.

2. Negative shifts in personality, behavior, or habits. The addiction has dramatic negative effects in multiple areas of the user’s life, including:

· Decreased productivity at work

· Relational problems leading to marriage and family breakdown

· Alienation of friends and family

· Changes in eating and sleeping habits

· Reduced personal hygiene

· Risk of STDs and/or unintended pregnancy

· Increased shame and loss of integrity

· Potential for legal problems as the behavior becomes riskier and more deviant

3. Continuation despite negative fallout. Despite the consequences, the user continues indulging in the behavior.

4. Obsession with planning or obtaining sexual experiences. Preoccupation with sexual compulsions so powerful that the user neglects important priorities.

5. Compromised marital intimacy. Pornography becomes a means of escaping marital intimacy. Sex becomes impersonal and mechanical. More sex and increasingly deviant sex are required over time to achieve the desired effect. Ultimately, sex becomes an act of self-satisfaction rather than an act of mutual giving, serving, and sharing between spouses.

6. Sexual dysfunction. The user experiences sexual problems, including:

· Erectile dysfunction

· Inability to maintain an erection without self-stimulation, pornography, or sexual fantasy

· Premature ejaculation

· Delayed ejaculation or inability to ejaculate

· Less satisfying orgasms

· Loss of libido

· Sexual awkwardness

7. Physiological and psychological symptoms. The user may experience physiological and psychological problems, including:

· Anxiety

· Chest pain

· Chronic fatigue

· High blood pressure

· Loneliness

· Depression

· Suicidal thoughts

· Insomnia

8. The use of lies and deception to hide impulsive behaviors. Shame, loss of self-respect, self-loathing, or fear compels the user to cover his tracks to avoid detection.

9. Inability to quit. The user’s exhausting attempts to stop his behavior include:

· Changing residences in hopes of starting over

· Initiating new relationships to control the problem

· Breaking off all sexual relationships, only to give in to sexual compulsions again

· Repeatedly making and breaking promises

· Switching to a different addiction as a way of compensating (the average addict has at least two addictions)

Next, we’ll look at addiction from a biblical perspective.