Aftershock - Take Care of YourselfSample

Intentionally Remember the Truth

Without remembering the truth, no problem can be solved.

Pornography is dangerously addictive and damaging – that’s the truth. But the urgency of this truth can easily become minimized if you’re repeatedly told that pornography isn’t a serious problem.

Your husband’s words are powerful and influential, and because of his own shame, fear, and need for the “companionship” of his addiction, he may want to prevent you from turning his pornography use into an issue. When he denies or dismisses his unfaithful behavior, he can plant doubts in your mind.

Tragically, you’ve experienced the results of your husband trying to believe that a lie is true – the lie that pornography is no real problem.

Here’s the truth: 

· Pornography and unfaithful actions or flirtations are damaging to your marriage.

· Your self-respecting actions can influence the direction of your marriage and may be the very thing that jumpstarts the healing journey.

· Marriages can be healed.

We help ourselves remember any number of other truths. We write down times and dates of important meetings. We put notes on the refrigerator door and on desk lamps. We copy meaningful verses and phrases and display them where we can look at them for encouragement. Why not do some of those things to help you remember encouraging truths as you practice self-care during this difficult time?

One way to keep truthful thoughts in your mind is to make use of your journal. Write down helpful and encouraging statements so you can refer to them when doubts overtake you. Review those statements regularly. Repeat them to yourself when your husband or other people make comments to the contrary.

Set an alarm on your cell phone to go off every few hours as a reminder to silently repeat these truths as you go about your daily business.

Write the word truth on a sticky note and tape it to the bathroom mirror. That one word is all the prompting you need to remember that pornography is damaging your marriage.

Think of simple ways to help you intentionally remember the truth. Truth is the most important weapon in your arsenal. Ephesians 6:14 (NIV) says: “Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist.”

Next, we’ll look at step five to self-care: exit the merry-go-round.