Understanding Sexual Temptation Sample

Day 5: You need healing.

Kaley grew up in a home that looked perfect on the outside, but behind closed doors, her father sexually abused her throughout her childhood. While Kaley hated sex, she also found herself in a cycle of sexually acting out followed by self-contempt and shame. She felt like her life was spiraling out of control after two abortions, a life-threating STD, and losing her job because of sexual misconduct. 

Why would a woman like Kaley continue to put her life at risk and compromise her future because of sex? Wouldn’t the abuse she suffered as a child make her want to avoid sex instead of insatiably seek it? 

Trauma from our childhood often plays out and seeks expression in our sexual temptations. This is true not just of childhood sexual trauma, but also our early experiences of feeling out of control, abandoned, neglected, or dominated. My friend, Jay Stringer, wrote the excellent book Unwanted to help people understand the link between past trauma and unwanted sexual behavior. We are drawn to sexual experiences as an ineffective way to address painful patterns from the past. 

Clues that this might be underlying your sexual desire: Do you find yourself drawn into sexual situations or fantasies that also repel you (for example, BDSM)? Do you have a love-hate relationship toward sexual outlets? Do you have significant trauma in your past that you haven’t worked through with a counselor or mentor? 

Address this need by: Acknowledging that your pain from the past doesn’t stay in the past and that God is inviting you into healing; seeking help from a counselor who has training specifically in trauma recovery; considering reading Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted. 

As you read today’s passage, consider where have you sought comfort, spending yourself on cures that don’t heal? What would it look like today for you to “touch Jesus’s cloak” in your quest for healing?