The Joy SwitchSample

God made us for relational joy, which means “we are glad to be together.” Joy is the fuel to run the brain’s relational engine. Joy is glad-to-be-togetherness, where we light up to see others and they light up to see us. We are the sparkle in someone’s eyes. The nonverbal dance of eye smiles makes us feel seen and special. This exchange is more of a reflex than a choice or decision of the will. Joy is the relational transaction, an exchange with shared glances, smiles, body movements and voice tones to convey, “I am really glad to see you!” The presence of joy is the relational turbo-booster that propels us to stay relationally engaged. 

Consider meeting with one of your best friends. What do you expect to see on your friend’s face and hear in your friend’s voice? What will your friend see and hear from you? Joy! Joy is the ideal emotion for interacting with the people we love. Joy is our brain’s sweet spot.

Psalm 16:11 says of God, “you will fill me with joy in your presence.” The Hebrew word translated “presence” here can also be translated “face.” This gives new meaning to this verse as we imagine God’s face joyfully exchanging glances with us, lighting up with joy. Another way to say this might be, “Your face fills me with joy.” 

This face-to-face joy we experience with God and people is high-powered fuel for our relational brain! Not only does joy feel good, joy gives us strength. This strength grows much-needed resiliency so we resist cravings and bounce back after difficulties. By building joy, we increase emotional capacity, our ability to handle the hard stuff. We can even say joy “trauma-proofs” people, particularly our children, so people gain necessary skills to recover instead of staying stuck in painful emotions.

God’s gift of joy is so key to Jesus’ mission that Jesus told His disciples, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:11 (ESV) Jesus knew something that would be discovered two millennia later by neuroscientists – joy is contagious! Jesus was fully aware of how God’s face was continuously shining with joy, Jesus’s relational circuit responded with joy, which He passed on to His disciples and others. God’s delight in us is such a powerful dose of joy that it fills us up so our joy is complete. 

Practice

These exercises will help you flip on your Joy Switch today:

1. Think of three things in your life you feel thankful for right now. These may be people, pets, experiences, or shared moments with loved ones. 

2. Write on a piece of paper or in your phone a 2-3 word name for each of these gifts.

3. Notice how you feel as you reflect on these gifts. Try to think about each gift for sixty seconds as you consider what makes the gift special and meaningful. If you can do this for at least three minutes, you will feel more joyful and relational.