The Art Of MarriageSample

Wise Parenting - Pivoting From ‘Controller’ to ‘Consultant’ 

The definition of exasperate is to ‘irritate to a high degree’. Raising children in a way which reveals our heavenly Father's love for them necessitates an intentional check on us as parents—to not discipline them from a place of irritation. It’s the key emotion that has been highlighted for us to avoid.  

When our children are young, the application of loving discipline helps guide them towards right conduct. We tend to behave as ‘controllers’, making decisions on their behalf that influence their day-to-day lives. As children grow older, a wise parent will pivot from being a ‘controller’ to becoming a ‘consultant’—offering wise counsel that helps our children learn from their mistakes by creating an environment where it’s okay to fail. Giving them counsel when consulted, and surrounding them in prayer and a culture of affirmation. 

This enables them to most naturally gravitate to the instruction in Ephesians 6:1 (TPT), “Children, if you want to be wise, listen to your parents and do what they tell you, and the Lord will help you”.

The revelation of a loving God who will help them sets our children up to live in the commanded blessings “You will prosper and live a long, full life.” (Ephesians 6:3)