Loving Your Wife Well By Matt JacobsonSample

Day Four

Intoxicating Love

Scripture: Proverbs 5:15–19

Your wife is all too aware of this sex-soaked, filth-saturated world you both inhabit. And she wonders, What is he feeling? What is his thought life like? Does he fantasize about sex? 

First of all, there is no room—absolutely no room—for anything but total faithfulness to your wife. Anything less than total faithfulness is unfaithfulness. For those who might wonder whether a given activity (with the body or the mind) is being unfaithful, just ask yourself, If my wife discovered me doing this, would I feel ashamed? Would she feel honored? 

On the other hand, let your imagination go, because there’s nothing wrong with thinking about sex . . . with your wife. Tell her (1) she is the only focus of your sexual interest . . . you think about her all the time and (2) she is the only outlet for your sexual passion. Give your wife the beautiful peace of knowing you are faithful, even in the secret places of your thought life. 

And remember that sex begins before you ever get to the bedroom. Has it been more than one day since your wife has felt your arms around her? As husbands, we get our needs met and then allow too much time to pass before we show affection through physical touch again.

Your wife loves to feel your arms around her, often. For the most part, she doesn’t want a hug that says “You’re my pal.” So don’t give hugs that say “Whatever.” Give the kind of hugs that say “I love you, a lot!” 

Even a simple touch can communicate to your wife that, physically, she is wonderful just the way she is. Maybe she’s just stepping out of the shower. Maybe she’s dressing for an evening out. Maybe she’s standing over some boiling potatoes on the stove. Look for the moment when you can give her a reassuring hug and tell her you like the way her body looks and feels—that you are, in fact, “intoxicated with her” (Proverbs 5:19)!

Make her a believer in the depth of your love with hands and arms that leave no room for questions. After all, a simple kiss on the cheek can be a throwaway gesture or an experience that contains the whole Book of Love. 

Look for a moment in the next few days when you can compliment your wife on how she looks. Then follow up with a genuine hug or kiss.