Brightly Relating To OthersSample

Scoffers and teachable people

Triangulation is a term that refers to a situation with two people in conflict who, rather than resolving their disagreement, involve or entangle other people, usually in an attempt to avoid, get their way, or diffuse their conflict.

Let’s say another person has wounded you and their offense rises to the level of what the Bible describes as a “mocker” or “scoffer.” A scoffer is an unteachable, self-absorbed person—the elephant in the room, the bully who harasses others at school or at work. The Scriptures teach that we should recognize the scoffers and avoid rebuking them. The reason for this is because a scoffer is generally described as a person who does not rightly relate and is unteachable. The following verses teach us how to recognize and respond to a scoffer: Jude 1:17-19, Proverbs 9:7-8, Proverbs 13:1, Proverbs 15:12, Proverbs 19:25, Proverbs 22:10, Luke 6:45.

All other relationships are resolvable using biblical principles of reconciliation and restoration. Many Christians live thinking that most relationships are too difficult to resolve; however, the Bible teaches the opposite. Only the scoffer is one you must avoid. Even in this context, you would still pray for them, trusting God to work in their lives. 

The Scriptures gives a clear procedure when dealing with Christians who have sinned. When approaching individual believers, we should always be gentle in confrontation. We may or may not always be correct in our perceptions. Factually, a person may not be guilty. However, if sin is apparent, ask the person to repent and be yourself willing to forgive and to help in any way.

Sometimes a person will refuse to respond appropriately to requests of reconciliation. When a person is confronted and does not repent, the next step requires a witness. If the individual in sin fails to respond after both attempts at restoration, then take the situation to the church. This could be a small group of elders, deacons, or a disciplinary council within your church. Generally, when a person sins privately you rebuke them privately and when a person sins publicly you rebuke them publicly. This teaches the local church the consequences of sin so they can learn how to obey God and restore others.

The Scriptures teach that whenever there is repentance, forgive the individual. When repentance does not occur, you should keep your distance from them. (Romans 16:17). In extreme cases of wickedness, you would even disassociate yourself from the individual all together (1 Corinthians 5:9-13).