Infidelity: Boundaries to Protect Your MarriageSample
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OPPOSITE-SEX FRIENDSHIPS IN MARRIAGE
Marriage is an exclusive relationship. This point has to be settled at the beginning if we’re to understand anything at all about the biblical design for matrimony.
What does this mean in practice? Does it imply that it’s wrong for a married person to have friends of the opposite gender? Not necessarily. Obviously, many married folks enjoy healthy, non-romantic friendships with individuals of the opposite sex. But it’s crucial to handle them wisely and to keep your eyes wide open for hidden pitfalls. If you want to preserve the health of your marriage, you need to place protective “boundaries” on these relationships.
The truth is that it’s far easier than you may think to cross the line from a platonic friendship into a seemingly “harmless” romance. The danger is especially high when you and the person in question have a great deal in common. If these shared interests and a compatibility of temperament lead you to entertain “innocuous” thoughts such as, “This person understands me far better than my spouse,” you’re already treading on treacherous ground.
The Bible gives us some clear guidelines about our behavior with persons of the opposite sex. Ephesians 5:6 warns us to avoid even a “hint” of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity. Second Peter 3:11 commands us to live “holy and godly lives.” The lesson taught in these verses is plain: even where intentions are pure, a Christian who is concerned to maintain godly character and present a Christ-like example to the watching world has to be extremely careful in the way he or she manages opposite-sex friendships. Protecting one’s marriage is always the first priority.
Marriage is an exclusive relationship. This point has to be settled at the beginning if we’re to understand anything at all about the biblical design for matrimony.
What does this mean in practice? Does it imply that it’s wrong for a married person to have friends of the opposite gender? Not necessarily. Obviously, many married folks enjoy healthy, non-romantic friendships with individuals of the opposite sex. But it’s crucial to handle them wisely and to keep your eyes wide open for hidden pitfalls. If you want to preserve the health of your marriage, you need to place protective “boundaries” on these relationships.
The truth is that it’s far easier than you may think to cross the line from a platonic friendship into a seemingly “harmless” romance. The danger is especially high when you and the person in question have a great deal in common. If these shared interests and a compatibility of temperament lead you to entertain “innocuous” thoughts such as, “This person understands me far better than my spouse,” you’re already treading on treacherous ground.
The Bible gives us some clear guidelines about our behavior with persons of the opposite sex. Ephesians 5:6 warns us to avoid even a “hint” of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity. Second Peter 3:11 commands us to live “holy and godly lives.” The lesson taught in these verses is plain: even where intentions are pure, a Christian who is concerned to maintain godly character and present a Christ-like example to the watching world has to be extremely careful in the way he or she manages opposite-sex friendships. Protecting one’s marriage is always the first priority.
Scripture
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Attacks on marriage come from all directions. They’ll weaken a relationship, leaving couples conflicted and emotionally detached. And that sets the stage for spouses to look outside their marriage for the connection they feel is missing. But that risk is significantly diminished when care is taken to guard a relationship. That’s why for your marriage not just to survive, but to thrive, it’s wise to surround it with healthy boundaries.
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